Something that often comes up for ME all the time in my personal life, my friends lives and my brave, awesome clients is comparing yourself to others. Why do we do it? We know it’s bad - but we can’t help it.
For me what this looks like currently is looking at other coaches and thinking OMG I should be doing that. OMG I need to add that/do that. I need to have that program. I need to post blogs every week. I need to follow this perfect formula that is sure to work and that means I’ll be successful and everyone will love me. Bullshit. I know it, you know it, but still we do it. Maybe it’s that you are comparing yourself to how great someone looks in the same pair of jeans you have, or where they are in their career, or how great their hair always looks, or their relationship with their boyfriend. CUT IT OUT LADIES! We are all in this together. No matter where you are - you are not better than anyone else nor is anyone else better than you. We are just different.
The funny this is that 1/2 the time, the things I think I *need* are things someone else does that actually I have no interest in implementing, I know my audience wouldn’t care about and really I know I wouldn’t enjoy doing. That’s how it usually is. We see something in someone else and it’s cool/different/pretty/sparkly and we want it. But do we need it? Is that really where we want to be or where we need to be.
This is when I have to remind myself to stay in my own lane and that my journey is my own. People are always at different places and where I am now and what I am doing is good for me. I don’t need to have it all figured out - nor do I want to because really what is the fun in that.
Tips to follow to stop comparing yourself to others:
- Remind yourself what is great about YOU and what you are doing. Seriously say it out loud and jot it down on a piece of paper. Three things. Do it now.
- Ask yourself if what they have / are doing is really something you want or just something you think you should want?
- Are you happy and just trying to find a way to make yourself not be happy because you don’t think you deserve it?
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan for and go for all those cool/crazy/awesome things that other people are doing or how they look or how many days a week they go to the gym. I’m saying that it is good to set goals and make plans - but make sure they are plans for the life you want to live - not a life you think you should be living or one that looks great for someone else.
Stick to your path and rock the shit out of the life you have.
Full disclosure: I'm still working on it as well. Some days I'm on top of it - other days I need to stick a good motivational quote on the wall and constantly repeat to myself to focus on my own race. Really, that's the only one that matters anyway.
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