Oh, hello there! I’m Kimberly. I go by Kim, but I like to write my name out the long way because It makes me feel fancy.
I know you. How? Because I’ve been you. I’ve been there. You are kind, intelligent, committed and an amazing friend, loving daughter/sister/ mom/aunt. You are excellent at your job, you write your friends birthday cards to send in the mail, you try eat enough green veggies and work out at least 4 times a week and not watch too much TV. You also get overwhelmed. You try to be good at everything all the time. You usually ARE and you always do the right thing. You are always there for everyone including a personal checklist you have for yourself that includes ALL the things.
It’s a lot though. You get tired, it wears on you, you feel like you have to be perfect all the time and do things right. A lot is black and white thinking submerged in perfection. You know this, you see it, but you LIKE being the good one. You like to be the best. It feels good to know you are doing it right. If you don’t do it, you feel like you messed up, are bad and a failure. And then you are hard on yourself for BEING hard on yourself! What a cycle. I know, I've ridden that party train. There IS a middle ground and you don't have to be any less you - any less great or wonderful. It just means you don't put as much pressure on yourself and everything feels EASIER.
I spent a long long time from a young age feeling like I needed to be thin to be good - to be beautiful, to be good enough. I decided I needed to weight 125 - 135 pounds because according to the BMI scale that was what I was "supposed" to be. I labeled foods as good and bad. If I ate too much pasta it was bad and I was bad for eating it. If I ate salad or steamed brocoli with chicken and tofu it was good and I was good for eating it. There was no middle ground. 15 + years of thinking this way never helped or solved a problem. I was stuck in that place. It left me feeling amazing on days I only ate “good” food and depressed on days I ate pizza at 2am with friends or started snacking on cookies at 9PM because I was tired and lonely. I felt good if I worked out and bad if I didn't. I was stuck in shame and judgement of myself and ALL my actions.
It wasn’t just food though. It was with my job, with relationships and pretty much with everything I was doing in my life. I wasn’t making the right decisions for me. I had shit jobs (well dream jobs that turned into jobs I hated), relationships that sucked, friends I didn’t know why I was friends with and a lot of travel pins on my pinterest board of places I wanted to travel to, but never went because of time/money/no one to go with and a heaping lack of confidence and trust in myself. I didn't think I was good enough or worthy.
- I started walking and then running. I learned what I felt like to be connected to my body.
- I took solo travel trips (Germany, Italy, Turkey) and learned to believe in myself.
- I stopped thinking the things I wanted were only for other people. I was good enough.
- I started to ask myself WHY NOT ME. That question focused me, pushed me and helped me question all the things I used to tell myself of why I couldn’t “just lose weight, travel, be happy, be like everyone else”
- I started doing all the things on my list of things I "couldn't" do. One small step (but sometimes big leap) at a time.
I learned that extremes never work
They did not work with what I ate or with my life. I learned how to pay attention to what feels good for me. Sometimes I DO eat cake for breakfast. Sometimes I eat eggs, spinach and toast. Sometimes It's or yogurt with fruit because it gives me energy and makes me feel good. If I wake up on a Tuesday and I really want chocolate, guess what? I EAT THE CHOCOLATE. I don't set rules for myself that make me feel bad or guilty. Not with food, not with life. It’s not easy. It’s taken time and commitment, but it is amazing. It is freeing. I feel good. I move my body because it makes me feel strong and connected and calm and clears my mind. I do what feels good - not what other people say I should do or what burns the most calories in the shortest amount of time.
What you get when you work with me are not quick fixes, BS or long lists of expensive ingredients you have never heard of and will stop using after 4 weeks.
I care deeply about this work because I know we live in a world where we are we constantly being told how/why/what do do with food and with our lives. We want to do the right thing - but this drive to be excellent can be used against us - by us. We apply body and beauty expectations against ourselves. These expectations cause real and lasting harm. We do not want to pass this onto future generations. You don't have to keep living your life this way. Being yourself, expressing yourself and doing what you want to do - THIS, This is our work together. This is our shared vision.
I’ve been in your shoes. I know you just want to talk to someone that GETS IT instead of someone telling you you need to meditate every day for 30 minutes. I have lived/studied/worked in countries around the globe and worked with people from different cultures and of all ages. What ties us all together is the same story about how we are supposed to live our lives and how we should look based on outside expectations. I've had the same conversations with 8 year old girls, young women in their late teens, 35 year olds and women in their 50s and 60s. I understand this work and I care deeply about it and know there is another way to live your life. I’ve thrown myself into the deep end many times so when I say to you “I’ve been there” I HAVE. I want you to stop passing mirrors and feeling bad or scrolling through your facebook/instagram feed and comparing your BODY and your LIFE with everyone else's. I'm here with you to do this work together. - let’s talk. I'm here to share this work together so that we can create a world with less strict restrictions for our girls. It starts with us.
How am I different?
I work with intelligent, kind, committed women who ALWAYS want to do the right thing. The trouble is our urge to do right and be excellent can sometimes be used against us - often by us. We apply external body and beauty expectations against ourselves. It causes real and lasting harm. This is not what we want to pass onto future generations of girls and our daughters. We do the sugar detoxes, the juice cleanses, we take yoga because we are "supposed to." We do the right thing, the good thing.
There is more to wellness than the singular image of a white woman with perfect abs that buys all organic food. There is nothing wrong with this person or body because BUT "health" (whatever that means) and trusting yourself and your own body is not for one type of person. I don’t believe "clean eating," sugar clenases, juice cleanses or elimination diets. There is a time and place for everything - working with me is not the time or place for any of these things. I don’t advocate for any one body type and if someone is happy, feels good and is healthy in their body then it does NOT matter what package that person comes in. I listen, I guide you and I don't give you a pre-packaged book and tell you YOU CAN DO IT! (I know you can!!!, but you need more than a cheer. This work is hard and I'm going to support, skill build, hold you accountable and build new muscles around this vision. We will work on expressing what you really want - even in the face of conflict.
When things get challenging you are someone that always tries to do the right thing and now according to the standards of our culture you are going to do the wrong thing and there is going to be friction there and we are going to work on that muscle and help train it every day. This work is not just about doing something that works for 3 months - it's about developing skills and muscles and training these new muscles and convictions so that when things do get hard because (hello life! you are human) you can stand your ground. This is the work we do together. Let's get started.
Professional bits you probably don't care about, but I will share anyway:
- I have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology from George Washington University in Washington DC, USA
- I have a Masters degree in Public Relations from London College of Communication in London, UK
- I am a Certified Holistic Health Coach from the Institute of integrative Nutrition in New York, USA
- I have worked with Weight Watchers (this is how I know the big companies don't really care), Girls Incorporated, and Girls on the Run and Girl Scouts, U.N. Women, SISU Girls and I am also an affiliated professional of the Body Positive Fitness Alliance.
- I have experience working in the U.S., U.K, China, and Singapore and have worked with people in North America and throughout Europe and Asia. I have tried and tested what works and doesn't work with women all around the world and I know you don't need another person giving you another diet plan or cleanse marketed as something else that is actually just another diet. I'm saying this not to tell you all the places I have been. I am sharing that girls and women of all ages around the world struggle with the same issues. It's time we realized we are not alone. It's time we worked to create a new option for girls outside of what is perfect. This is our shared vision.